How to get pregnant (according to the internet)

IMG_2239Getting (and staying) pregnant was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. It’s a crazy physical and emotional roller coaster that starts all over again every 28 days. Lucky for us we have the internet to help us through it. Just take a deep breath and relax because all you have to do is:

* Don’t stress

* Take your temperature every morning as soon as you wake up before even opening your mouth.

* Said temperature is not accurate if you haven’t gotten at least three hours of uninterrupted sleep or have a fan going.

* POAS (that means pee on a stick for you amateurs) every morning from day 6 of your cycle until after ovulation.

* Don’t eat refined carbs

* Don’t eat grilled food

* Eat grapefruit every morning during your ovulation week

* Eat pineapple core every day from ovulation until you get a BFP or start your cycle over again

* Don’t eat too much fruit

* Take cough syrup a few day before ovulation

* Don’t take antihistamines

* Do fertility yoga

* Keep a regular exercise program

* Don’t exercise

* Don’t sit in a hot tub

* Take a DHEA supplement, not to be confused with DHA

* Alcolize your body by drinking a green smoothie every day

* Just relax. It will happen when it’s supposed to.

* Have a glass of wine to keep things spicy in the bedroom

* Don’t drink alcohol

 

* BD (stands for baby dance (stands for have intercourse)) every other day

* Don’t BD too much cause it will decrease sperm quality

* Stop “trying” (but still follow all of the above advice)

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2 thoughts on “How to get pregnant (according to the internet)

  1. This is so true of all the things on the internet….you can find almost any advice—and it’s opposite, on any given subject. Funny >

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